Ask For a Pat on the Back

When I have accomplished a task in my home, I am proud of my work and want my husband to acknowledge what I have done.  The problem here? He may not notice what I’ve done because the project I completed is behind a door or was relatively small in the scale of our home.  I spent many times lingering and waiting for him to discover what I had done.  This put pressure on him (unknown to him at that) to discover what I have done and acknowledge my accomplishment.  Meanwhile, I would sit on the edge of my seat waiting for him to thank me and give me a pat on the back for my work.  Inevitably, when he would not discover my work in a time frame that was appropriate for me, I would be upset with him for not thanking me and telling me what a good job I did.  How can he thank me and tell me he is proud of me when he does not know I did the work to begin with? He is not a mind reader and does not know that I am looking for praise.  

I have learned that it is ok to ask for a pat on the back when I feel the need for acknowledgement for my contributions around the home.  While this was uncomfortable for me at first, it has made for a stronger relationship since I am not holding an unnecessary grudge against my husband for not being able to read my mind!  This works well for him too and he is more than willing to say (and in all sincerity) that he is proud of me and grateful for what I have done.

Communication when making big and small changes to your home in essential.  Support from family and friends will help you keep momentum and more likely to continue progress in your home.  Go for it, ask for a pat on the back!

 

About Hillary Adams Case

Hillary believes you should never have to question where your keys are; everything has a home. After helping friends and family to get organized for years, they finally encouraged her to make professional organizing her career. Committed to always learning new skills and techniques, Hillary is constantly expanding the ideas she brings to working with her clients. With a joy and passion for finding “Green” solutions, Hillary is delighted to help clients find ways to dispose of items through recycling and donation in order to live lighter on our planet. When not working as an organizer, Hillary enjoys being at the ocean and “using her green thumb” with houseplants. Hillary is also an animal-lover and advocates the need to create healthy space in our homes for ourselves and our four-legged friends.

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